After freewheeling at increasing pace for 16 giddy months, the Ashes hypemobile had to run out of road. But instead of letting it come to a juddering halt, somehow these 22 players managed to conjure a fresh acceleration.
It is implausible for something as anticipated as this not to produce disappointment, as anyone who follows England knows far too well. Those are memories that will have flooded miserably back when Zak Crawley nicked the sixth ball of the day to slip. His wicket marked the start of not only the sudden whoosh of optimism leaking from the English balloon of hot air, but of a day of 19 wickets, bowling of impeccable quality (with exceptions), and absurd entertainment.
Brydon Carse described England as “relentless”, and there are occasions when even the most weary of cynics has to acknowledge that there is something special about the mentality of a side that consistently refuses to see failure when they can instead glimpse opportunity.
There is a strong argument that Ben Stokes should have made a different choice at the toss and immediately unleashed his bowlers at Australia’s openers, an out-of-sorts Usman Khawaja approaching his 39th birthday and a 31-year-old debutant in Jake Weatherald. As it turned out his decision did not delay that moment for long, the tourists bowled out for 172 inside 33 overs. This turn of events may have brought England’s supporters down to earth, but it inspired their players to reach for the stars.
They had been left with little margin for error, and required none. It took Jofra Archer two balls to reduce Weatherald to a puddle of dissolved batsmanship, arrowing the ball full and fast towards the ankles of a player whose attempt to work out where to put his bat and feet in response ended with all of them in a tangle and him first on the floor, and then back in the dressing room. A wicket maiden, and then a maiden from Gus Atkinson, and then another from Archer, another from Atkinson. At this stage Steve Smith and Marnus Labuschagne, two of Australia’s finest and most in-form batters, were at the crease, and they were being bullied.
By the time Mark Wood replaced Archer the only thing Smith seemed to know for certain was that he wanted to be at the non-striker’s end, his desperation to make it so nearly resulting in his partner being run out from Wood’s first delivery of the series. At the end of that over, the seventh of the innings, Australia had scored seven. Three overs later it was tea, and the batters got to spend 20 minutes contemplating how refreshed England’s seamers were about to feel.
At precisely 14 overs Smith and Labuschagne’s partnership was to be by a margin the longest of a bewildering day, if only the sixth most prolific. It is fair to say they were never really comfortable: Atkinson hit Smith on the elbow, and Archer returned to arrow one ball into his arm and then the next into his hand. For a while Australia’s physio was completing more runs than their batters. Tension rose. Quality rarely dropped.
Shortly after tea Carse bowled a couple of loose deliveries in an over and Smith punished both, scoring Australia’s second and third boundaries. For a moment the course of the game felt in the balance, as England toned down their level of relentlessness. It was 28 for one and the hosts were slowly, awkwardly constructing something that might have briefly taken the shape of a foundation. Four overs later it was 31 for four, and Stokes was pondering if it was almost time for him to steal the headlines.
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Another gorgeous Western Australian day – something of a cold snap is now forecast, with Sunday’s temperatures predicted to peak at a meagre 19C (66F) – had given England’s fans a chance to prove their own relentlessness. Before 9am in Perth conversation, beer and prosecco was flowing in the bars clustered around Claisebrook Cove as fans paused their own flow towards the stadium. Outside the ground some were briefly delayed by the West Fest, the celebratory accompaniment to what is known as the West Test, which largely consisted of loud music, lavishly-branded sponsor-related freebies, and novelty replica red telephone boxes of various sizes.
Occasional distraction came in the shape of legendary ex-players, running the selfie gauntlet as they hustled through the crowd between their cars and the safety of the stadium, as the great and the good of the game assembled for one of its grand occasions.
Given the extent of Mitchell Starc’s superiority, the great and the good also works as a description of Australia’s seamers, if only for as long as they toil without Pat Cummins and Josh Hazlewood. Stokes may have nicked five wickets and a lot of attention but England’s pace bowling unit ended the first day of a long series looking monolithic – daunting, immense and, for now, with no sign of a fault.
