Listen up, you rugby league scribes.
Benji Marshall and I have had a gutful – and I mean a Pauline Hanson-like GUTFUL – of you and your cruel jibes about there being even a hint of a falling out between him and his one-time star player, Jarome Luai.
Look, just because Jarome was floated as the saviour of the Tigers, our long-term superstar, only to be suddenly leaving us for not one, but two teams, some of you have suggested there must be a little tension between he and Benji.
But we won’t have it. Tell ’em what we think Benji, and don’t miss: “Now what you guys did was turn that into World War 10 and make it something that it’s not, which you’re good at.
“I think that’s unfair … I’m just not gonna cop the bull—- rumours that are made up based on nothing or based on what you guys think might be the case, and it’s not.”
Exactly! All based on NOTHING. The Tigers will be paying $500,000 of Luai’s salary to play with the Eels next year, but so what? Just because we’ll be paying $10,000 a week, every week for a year, for him to play for our most fierce local rivals – that doesn’t mean Benji and Jarome aren’t thick as thieves, as thieves I tell you!
Sing it after me:
Oh Benji the Tigers’ coach,
He swore with a friendly grin,
“Jarome and I are mates for life,
No bad blood can creep in.”
So he paid 500,000 bucks,
A most remarkable fee,
To watch his best mate wear blue and gold,
And not the Tigers’ jersey.
You know it makes sense.
And look, while I’ve got your attention, Jarome and I are also pissed off by your suggestions that he has been anything less than a stunning success at the Tigers.
How dare you raise your eyebrows at his overall impact or his departure after fashioning himself as the soul of the team.
Yes, he did say, last year when asked by you journos about his future: “I’m staying, don’t worry … For life … I think when things get hard, people are sort of expecting you to change and I’m not that type of guy. I’m here for the long run and I’m here to change this club around.”
I guess you’re also right that he was monstering Lachie Galvin at about the same time for deciding to go to the Bulldogs, famously posting on Instagram on this very subject, “Team first.” Certainly, that was interpreted as inferring that Galvin should have put the needs of the Tigers team ahead of all other things, including his own desires. And yes, Luai has himself now put two teams first and second, behind the Tigers who are coming in third – and since his announcement of leaving, they’ve lost eight of the last 10 matches and have sunk to 14th on the ladder.
But you ingrates, STILL don’t get it! None of this has anything to do with anything Jarome himself has done.
He explained all that, when he posted last week: “Gods [sic] plan, not mine.”
How can you bozos not understand, when he puts it so simply? If God says “Take the money and run, Jarome!” who the hell is Jarome to tell GOD what to do?
Thank you for your attention to this matter. That will be all.
Here’s the thing about the World Cup
Listen, I get it. When it comes to the soccer World Cup, there is no doubt that in terms of grandeur, eyeballs and international fervour, it could eat the rugby and rugby league World Cups – not to mention a dozen AFL grand finals – many times over, and not even burp.
It’s Big Time, do you hear me? As BIG as it gets.
I equally accept that the skills of people like Lionel Messi are mesmerising, the way he has the ball on an absolute string. So, too, the goalies. How do they do that? How do they judge a ball angling away from them at 115 km/hr and hurl themselves, arms outstretched to stop an otherwise certain goal?
Ditto the likes of Norway’s Erling Haaland, who can not only work out how to get his head on a cross-kick, half-a-metre above defenders, but expertly guide it, through head-deflection exactly where he wants it to go. I repeat. Soccer World Cup = Skills Are Us.
Double ditto, tribal passion. Soccer is streets ahead of all the above big Australian sports.
I grant you all of the above. No contest.
But … here’s the thing.
Is the game itself … sometimes … just a teensy-weensy bit … you know, dull? Only sometimes, I mean! Purely as a spectacle, am I really alone in finding it sometimes a tad underwhelming when one team endlessly kicks back to their own goalie, for safety’s sake?
What equivalent to that dullness has AFL, NRL or rugby union got? Ditto, when they pass it back and forth to either side, and not much else happens?
When the whole game stops for a couple of minutes, after one bloke gets a tiny tap on the ankle, so he can writhe in agony – only to be up and running like a gazelle when the game gets under way again?
Isn’t some of it, sometimes, just a bit meh?
I think it is.
Fire at will. See if I care. I will be in my trailer.
20-year suspension overturned
My friend and yours, The Mole, had a disturbing piece up on the nine.com.au website last week.
It was about an Indigenous rugby league player Matt Nean, who was sent from the field in 2016 for allegedly man-handling a referee while playing for West Tamworth in the 2016 Group 4 grand final.
Suspended for 18 weeks, he appealed and got a 20-year suspension instead. No, really.
Having served 10 years, this year he appealed one more time for the road and had the ban overturned.
But here’s the killer. Look at the original sin! Straight to you from the cameras of NBN. They clearly show that Nean barely touched the referee. 20 years, for that? Somewhere, somehow, someone needs to offer an explanation.
For if you didn’t know better, you’d say such a suspension for so trifle feels like something that belongs in southern Alabama in the 1950s, not Tamworth, a decade ago.
What they said
Lautaro Martinez on scoring the World Cup semi-final winner for Argentina against England: “The first time my dad bought me a pair of boots, I always dreamed of scoring this goal.” Nawww. Love it.
Banner held up by Argentinian players after the game: “Las Malvinas son Argentinas.” Read, “The Falkland Islands are Argentinian”.
French midfielder Rayan Cherki after France lost 2-0 to Spain in their World Cup semi-final: “It’s an immense disappointment. We lost against ourselves. We didn’t lose against the referee, we didn’t lose against Spain, we lost against ourselves. You all know that everyone was scared of us. The only team who were capable of eliminating us was ourselves. Today is terrible.”
One of the Twitterati : “If Spain beat Argentina, Trump has to give the World Cup trophy to Spain. In light of Trump’s views about Spain I think that would be brilliant & very funny.” So do I. Not as much fun as Belgium beating the USA 4-1, but close!
In response to TFF’s contention last week that the Wallabies had had an honourable defeat to Ireland, a reader sent me this quote from Test cricketer and journalist Derek Pringle: “Honourable defeat. For an Australian it’s an oxymoron, for an Englishman it’s a tautology.”
Wallabies skipper Harry Wilson after another defeat, this time to France last Saturday: “We’re learning that you need to play good for 80 minutes. We’re losing moments … it’s not good enough.”
Departing Wallabies coach Joe Schmidt after said loss: “It’s hard to find positives.” There’s only one, coach. The Wallabies have proved themselves consistently competitive against the best in the world. Just need to finish the job!
Brendon McCullum on being sacked as England cricket coach: “There’ve been some unbelievable highs and a few tough days along the way, but that’s all part of taking on a challenge like this. Of course I’m gutted not to be continuing, but I respect the decision.”
Pierluigi Collina, the chairman of the FIFA Referees Committee on referees being able to look at tablets on the sideline for key decisions: “There was something quite weird that, at a match, all of the people sitting around the field of play and on the bench were able to see on their device what was going on, on the field of play. And the only one who had not had that chance was the one who had to make the decision.”
Jarome Luai on leaving the Tigers before his contract is over, in a situation that sounds a lot like the Lachie Galvin one:“I’m grateful to everyone involved with the club for everything over the last two seasons.”
Canberra coach Ricky Stuart after they defeated the Bulldogs: “Again, publicly it’s very hard for me to sit here when we’re getting beaten and telling you what I think I know because you’re only gonna get bashed up socially and bashed up publicly, but those d**ks don’t know.” I resemble that remark!
Gold Coast Suns coach Damien Hardwick on being accosted by fans in Adelaide: “But at the end of the day, those sort of people are the guys that live in their mum’s basements and type on bloody social media forums and that sort of stuff … Security is OK, but we don’t need people being peanuts about it. Get out of the basement, mate.”
Linda Noskova on winning Wimbledon: “What really helped me, the first step I took off court, the trophies were there. I was like: ’I’m not going to take the small one, I’m taking the big one.”
Erling Haaland on his World Cup: “I think we put Norway on the map.”
Essendon coach Dean Solomon’s message to fans: “Stick strong and be patient.” If they’re still there after 25 years without a premiership, we can assume they’re fairly patient?
Four-time Tour de France winner Tadej Pogacar: “I have haters and haters gonna hate. To all the booers who are there, they just give more boost to my teammates. They put wood on the fire.”
Jannik Sinner on winning Wimbledon: “There’s no better place to play tennis. This one means a lot because [it] was a tough one after Paris again. I’m proud of myself and my team, which continues to push me in the right direction.”
Team of the week
Cruz Hewitt. Runner-up in the Wimbledon Junior Boys, and if he went to a fancy dress party as “the future,” he’d fit.
Wallabies. Take on Italy tonight in Perth. Need a win!
Spain/Argentina. Contesting Monday morning’s World Cup final. Amazingly, Spain drew with Cape Verde, while Argentina only beat the tiny nation deep into extra-time in their round of 32 clash.
The Ryde Hunters Hill, and Gordon North Sydney hockey clubs. In the lead up to the Hockey World Cup next month, the clubs will hold a Family Day on August 1, rejoicing in the significant contribution that families have made to both organisations. Festivities include the first grade women match from 2pm; and the men’s from 330pm at Keith Thompson Hockey Centre.
Novak Djokovic. Hasn’t won a grand slam in three years. Only other time he’s had a streak like this was his first three years on the tour. The 39-year-old’s doing a fine job raging against the dying of the light, but is unlikely to move off his number of having won 24 grand slam singles titles.
Peter FitzSimons is a journalist and columnist with The Sydney Morning Herald.Connect via X.
