Jean-Philippe Mateta may have failed in an attempt to get the final year of his contract cancelled in the summer, but his efforts in invalidating Crystal Palace continue unabated.
They had precisely one job, the Eagles. A point – one sad, sorry, singular point – would have lifted them into 17th and dropped crisis-addled Manchester United, after nine games, into the relegation zone. One f**king job.
Even with Tottenham’s recent improvement, it wasn’t too much to ask. Palace had won on their previous two visits to this corner of north London, most recently in March. The doctor would see them now.
But as with seven months ago, a red card inexorably changed the course of the game.
Then, Spurs unravelled when Micky van de Ven was sent off, going from 1-0 up at the time of the Dutchman’s 38th-minute dismissal to 3-1 down by half time.
Van de Ven was involved again this time, but as the pacifist to Mateta’s aggressor.
In all fairness, when chasing a slightly overhit Daichi Kamada pass on the halfway line, the only fair and just response is to rake studs down the back of Van de Ven’s calf while simultaneously clattering Jan Paul van Hecke in a genuinely impressive feat of multi-tasking.
While Palace were hardly dominant by that point with barely over a quarter of the ball, their game plan was rendered slightly moot and this left a short but infuriatingly wasted trip.
The near 50 minutes they spent with Yeremy Pino leading the line in front of a midfield of Dwight McNeil, Adam Wharton and Kamada were among the most existential any club in Premier League history has experienced.
It did not improve all that much when the presence of an actual centre-forward in Eddie Nketiah was introduced.
Spurs barely dipped below 80 per cent possession after the red, albeit largely toying with their food until taking vague bites through set-piece goals from Archie Gray and Van Hecke.
Yet Spurs being Spurs, it was far from routine. They had 34 shots to one after the red card, and still the one was roughly as presentable a chance as any of the 34. It falling to Dwight McNeil, whose effort was blocked by Dominic Solanke in the box after a bright team move, was a blessing.
Twelve players had at least one shot; Van Hecke had five, including two for his goal. Antonin Kinsky, under almost no pressure throughout as Palace abandoned any pretence of a meaningful press, did not misplace a single pass.
Spurs could not have asked for an easier route to a third consecutive Premier League win, their first such run since February 2025 when Ange Postecoglou then jettisoned domestic matters entirely to always win something in his second season, mate.
Palace are among the Europa League runners now, but their Premier League status is under immense threat. And the sinking Pierre Sage might justifiably ask what he is supposed to do about that when his players, Mateta and Axel Disasi chief among them, make such consistently idiotic and ruinous decisions.
