Manchester United – bloody hell: after a quasi-farcical display that last-gasp somehow pulled them back to 2-2 and penalties, Ruben Amorim’s rabble lost a fevered shootout 12-11.
When Bryan Mbeumo’s kick smacked Christy Pym’s bar Grimsby entered the nirvana of a cup-shock for the ages, delirious home fans invaded, and their song of “Oh when the Town go steaming in” sweetly summed up what had been administered to United.
The visitors were two down by the interval when Charles Vernam and Tyrell Warren strikes had the 20-times English champions staring at a humiliating oblivion.
But a 75th-minute Mbeumo finish handed United a lifeline before Harry Maguire’s stooping header squeezed in at the near post took the tie to the penalty lottery.
Amorim’s men lost it, so the inquest begins. The head coach and his side hobble next to Saturday’s visit of Burnley. It does not need a vivid imagination to picture United losing that one too and extending their winless run to the opening four outings of an already stricken campaign.
Amorim may survive a defeat at Old Trafford – he has just overseen a £200m-plus summer spend, after all – but the bottom line is this: nine months into the job the head coach continues to put out a team that lacks verve, flair, solidity and anything approaching a discernible pattern of play.
After the farrago of his side’s performance Amorim stood pitchside and was regaled with jubilant verses of “you’re getting sacked in the morning”: this cruel wit sharply crystallises the state United are in – and their coach is culpable.
On a smooth green sward that allowed no excuse the XI Amorim sent out in search of a win showed eight changes. Of these Kobbie Mainoo, Benjamin Sesko, André Onana, Harry Maguire and Manuel Ugarte were the headline acts given first starts and who failed to quieten a rambunctious crowd all night.
United began and ended under the pump. A Vernam corner from the left threatened to arrow over the hapless Onana before the goalkeeper scurried back and tipped over. Dave Artell drilled his unit to tap the ball about then up tempo and stampede at United. Or rush to a man in red livery to squeeze them – precisely how they took the lead.
Under pressure Amad Diallo miscontrolled, tried to retrieve the ball, he and Ugarte bumped into each other, pratfalled, and Grimsby tookover. A quick right-left Darragh Burns diagonal put Vernam in, and he beat Onana at his near post: the Cameroonian should have saved so here was the latest howler from a United man between the sticks.
Now, the Mariners’ second. A short Vernam corner on the left was returned and the No 30 sliced in a delivery. Onana rose above a thicket of players and, farcically, missed a clearing punch, the ball dropped to Warren, who rolled home against the club he left in 2019.
Cue a Grimsby support in party-mode, their taunts a cutting ‘can we play you every week,’ and ‘Premier League/you’re having a laugh’. They had a point. Grimsby were in cruise control, toying with their shellshocked guest. When Sesko managed a header you were reminded that United were allowed to attack – too.
At the interval Amorim hooked Tyler Fredericson, Patrick Dorgu and Ugarte for Matthijs De Ligt, Mbuemo and Bruno Fernandes. Calling for the cavalry showed how dire United were.
In bucketing rain Grimsby poured forward and a Burns effort went for a corner as, again, United’s noses were bloodied. The downpour, becoming biblical, made the surface greasy – perfect for a side on a mission to pen themselves into football immortality.
United were in a catch-22 of needing to press to pull a goal back while not daring to leave space for Artell’s ruthless unit to prosper again. Example: Grimsby moved along their right, swapped passes, and lifted a high-ball in – the omnipotent Vernam leaped and bounced a header into the ground which Onana clutched.
Quick GuideBrighton and Fulham march on
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The Greece Under-21 striker, who cost £20.8m from the German club Nurnberg, struck twice in seven second-half minutes before fellow newcomer Tommy Watson sealed the Seagulls’ first win of the season.
First-half finishes from Olivier Boscagli – another debutant – and the midfielder Brajan Gruda set Albion on course for a resounding victory at the Kassam Stadium before Diego Gomez increased the advantage on the hour.
Raul Jimenez ensured Fulham avoided a shock as they dispatched the Championship side Bristol City 2-0.
The Mexico striker Jimenez pressured George Tanner into scoring an early own goal and then grabbed the second as the Cottagers cruised through.
Marco Silva, the Fulham manager, had been stung by City in the competition before, when they knocked his top-flight Watford side out with a 3-2 result at the same stage eight years ago, but Jimenez ensured there would be no repeat.
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Amorim’s substitutions had failed to engineer any dominance and when Diallo was flagged offside his boss dipped his head in anguish – a regular sensation for him.
Amorim, despairing, sent for a favourite player, Mason Mount, who replaced Ayden Heaven. Yet when Mbeumo struck United still seemed a universe away from levelling. But they do possess spirit, as personified by Maguire whose intervention took them to penalties and the heartbreak of defeat this way.
Amorim was not spotted on the touchline witnessing the kicks – as odd as the decision to have his new £70m leader of the attack, Sesko, as taker No 10. Again, expect this to be dissected.
