Manchester United ‘crisis meeting’ claim made after Van Nistelrooy painted as ‘cool’ anti-Ten Hag

September 30, 2024
6:21 pm

Erik ten Hag turned up for work at a normal time ahead of a non-existent Manchester United ‘crisis meeting’, possibly involving ‘cool’ Ruud van Nistelrooy.

A right old half
‘Spurs, who had suffered seven straight defeats against top-half opposition…’ – Dave Kidd, The Sun.

Still have to be fair. Manchester United started the weekend in 11th and ended it in 12th.

Glum note
One of the many post-match rituals of a Manchester United humiliation – something with which the world is becoming increasingly familiar – is the faux shock at a) Erik ten Hag turning up to work early the next day, and b) the manager and the players all looking miserable about arriving at a job they are doing really quite abysmally in one of the most public ways imaginable.

‘Erik ten Hag arrives at Man Utd training ground barely 12 hours after being thumped by Tottenham at Old Trafford,’ screams The Sun website. The game ended at about half 6 on Sunday and they have two matches to prepare for over the next seven days; Manchester United could have won 5-0 and they would still have been in early on Monday.

‘The defeat must have given Ten Hag a sleepless night as he pulled into Carrington at 7:30am this morning.
‘He was pictured looking glum behind the wheel of his Audi.’

Incredible that he didn’t rock up with a massive smile on his face. And how does turning up for work at a reasonable time imply ‘a sleepless night’? Mediawatch started at 7 this morning and would have been pictured looking glum behind a laptop, and that’s without having to commute or having sodding cameras everywhere we go.

But when the churnalists find a theme they don’t half run with it. Ten Hag was ‘glum’ and so disappointed by the Spurs defeat he went to work as planned the next day.

‘Glum Erik ten Hag arrives for Man United training bright and early after 3-0 thrashing at the hands of Tottenham as under-pressure Dutchman attempts to save his job,’ says the MailOnline.

‘Ten Hag wore a glum expression on his face as he was pictured driving into Carrington while it was still dark outside,’ it is added, seemingly oblivious that it is late September in Manchester and thus pretty much always dark.

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This is the greatest showdown
The absolute masters at this, however, are over at the Daily Mirror website, top of which is this:

‘Erik ten Hag makes unusual decision as he arrives for showdown talks with Man Utd players’

It is important to break that headline down into the two most important elements: the ‘unusual decision’ and the ‘showdown talks’.

First, the ‘unusual decision’. It is said that Ten Hag ‘was pictured arriving into the club’s Carrington Training Complex unusually early on Monday morning,’ despite 7.30am being both an entirely normal time to turn up for work, but also an entirely normal time for Ten Hag specifically to turn up for work. Even just a cursory search shows numerous examples of him arriving at Carrington at or around 7. Like this one from The Sun website after the Crystal Palace thrashing in May:

‘Ten Hag has responded by calling his players in early for training, with the United boss arriving at Carrington at 7am.’

Completely typical behaviour, then. Except the ‘unusual decision’ could be related to these apparent ‘showdown talks’ because…

‘Players have also been called in for training as they prepare for their European clash on Thursday. Mirror Football understands that stars usually arrive at approximately 10am on warm-down days, but started arriving an hour early.’

While ‘unusual decision’ is a massive stretch to describe possibly asking players to arrive for training an hour early after a demoralising defeat, the idea Ten Hag has called them in for ‘showdown talks’ is a pure fabrication. Even worse, ‘crisis meeting’ is in the URL despite no such thing ever being alluded to in the actual story.

The closest we get to any ‘showdown talks’ or ‘crisis meeting’ is a quote from Gary Neville about how the players should “go and have a meeting themselves tomorrow morning without the manager”. And that will be almost impossible if Ten Hag keeps turning up to work ‘unusually early’/at the same time he always does.

Seeing red
‘Don’t be fooled by any suggestions that United lost this because they were reduced to 10 men before half time when their captain Bruno Fernandes was shown a straight red. Ten Hag’s side were well beaten by then’ – Oliver Holt, Daily Mail.

Mediawatch does not doubt that Spurs had been by far the better side when Fernandes was sent off and would probably have won regardless, but they were only leading 1-0 and Alejandro Garnacho hit the post five minutes prior. In no world were United ‘well beaten’ at that point.

In Ruud health
Fair play to the Manchester Evening News for getting the ball rolling with four separate headlines on Ruud van Nistelrooy, including…

‘Ruud van Nistelrooy has already explained his Man United philosophy that Sir Alex Ferguson loves’

…in which the current assistant manager explains how he loves attacking football, but does not explain how Manchester United’s attacking output has collapsed since he joined the coaching staff.

…and…

‘I saw Ruud van Nistelrooy do what Man United boss Erik ten Hag couldn’t during Tottenham loss’

…in which it is revealed that: ‘While Ten Hag cut a frustrated figure with his input, including gesturing towards the pitch, van Nistelrooy appeared to be staying cool and calm during the conversation, not taking his eye off what was happening on the pitch.’

Bit weird that Manchester United haven’t made appointed him as Ten Hag’s replacement yet if he can be ‘cool and calm’ as the assistant manager carefully presiding over a 3-0 home defeat.