Luke Edwards will presumably continue reporting on post-Howe Newcastle without irony despite boasting about a crippling lack of impartiality.
We must start with Edwards’ singular attempt to undermine the entire journalism profession. But Liverpool have a Bradley Barcola transfer boost and there is a Manchester United masterstroke too.
A closer Luke
It has taken a truly gargantuan effort at great personal cost, but the Daily Telegraph‘s Luke Edwards has achieved the impossible: somehow engineering a more embarrassing summer transfer window than the last.
He spent the entirety of the 2025 off-season insisting Newcastle would not sell Alexander Isak, denigrating and mocking anyone who suggested Newcastle might sell Alexander Isak, then making ‘a boast post’ about how he was the first person to report that Newcastle had indeed sold Alexander Isak.
He, an actual journalist, wrote with a presumably straight face while dancing in his kitchen, that ‘I only ever report what I’m told and learn,’ and ‘at the time everything was as it was told to me’, without realising that is not journalism but in fact PR.
And now with July 2026 coming to a close, Edwards has basically confirmed the identity of the source who has fed him lines to parrot rather than look into and challenge for the last few years:
🖤 THE TRUTH ABOUT EDDIE AND ME From the first phone call with Eddie Howe, I knew he was different 🥲 #nufc https://t.co/inzGoEp6TB
— Luke Edwards (@LukeEdwardsTele) July 30, 2026
It is absurdly, hilariously, unthinkably cringeworthy. Edwards writes about how ‘we became friends’, ‘he made me feel important’ and ‘he would tell me that a lot, trust him, and I did. More than any other manager I have covered in my 25 years working in Newcastle,’ as if simultaneously discussing a death and his own personal break-up, rather than underlining his own fundamental lack of professional impartiality for the best part of the last half-decade.
But Mediawatch has to report that the joke is actually on us all, and Edwards has been in on it all along. That is the only explanation for this specifically erotic fourth paragraph:
‘Within a few seconds, it felt like I had known him all my life. There was no awkwardness, no uncomfortable silences, just an emotionally intelligent and highly inquisitive person who, to use a phrase we journalists often use, wanted to “pump me” for as much information as he could.’
He knows what he’s doing. He has to.
You’re so vain
Mind you, Edwards did later tell the BBC’s Football Daily:
“I tried my best to talk him out of it. I tried to make him see the positives. I tried to reassure him that the majority of fans were still backing him. I thought I persuaded him to stay. I thought I talked him out of it.”
Which, again, is a ludicrous thing for a neutral, unbiased party to ever admit to.
If Matthias Jaissle hasn’t already been on the phone to Edwards then he’s missed a trick and is basically doomed.
Howe about it?
Quite enjoyed this wonderfully unimpactful closing line in Shaun Custis’ tribute to Howe in The Sun:
‘Maybe he doesn’t quite qualify for a statue like Jackie Milburn, Bobby Robson or Alan Shearer, but he certainly deserves a very large picture in the entrance lobby.’
A very large one.
Brad romance
It has been a fun jaunt away from Transferville but we must return with this Daily Mirror website headline:
‘Rio Ngumoha provides Bradley Barcola transfer hint as Liverpool beat Wrexham in New York’
The idea that Ngumoha could have provided a Barcola transfer hint during a pre-season friendly is so preposterous that we simply must discover the sheer volume of nonsense within.
Did he celebrate a goal by revealing an undershirt which said ‘I BELONG TO BRADLEY’? Did he bring a wheelbarrow containing £140m onto the pitch? The suspense is killing us.
It turns out Ngumoha played on the right in his substitute cameo. And that’s it. That’s the ‘Bradley Barcola transfer hint’. Because Andoni Iraola now has proof that the pair ‘could play in tandem either side of a striker, whoever that may be’.
Iraola has literally publicly explained that he wants his wingers “to have the ability to play both sides”, but sure. Ngumoha playing a half of friendly football on the right is basically an announcement that Barcola has joined.
Simply Fred
But Liverpool cannot have all the fun in the market when Manchester United are lurking.
‘Man Utd confirm surprise transfer as INEOS pull off potential masterstroke,’ reports the Daily Express website.
Have they finally got that third midfielder through the door? Are the rumours about Wesley Sneijder or Nico Gaitan true?
‘Manchester United have confirmed the surprise exit of Tyler Fredricson, who has joined Lausanne-Sport on a permanent deal.’
Oh for fu…
Well look, it is a surprise transfer to all the Tyler Fredricson casuals out there, caught off guard by his exit after making an entire two first-team appearances last season. But what of this ‘potential masterstroke’ from INEOS?
‘He has joined Lausanne-Sport, who are also owned by INEOS. This could make it easier for United to re-sign Fredricson in the future if he develops well in Switzerland over the coming years.’
It should indeed be a bit more straightforward for Manchester United to sign Fredricson back if he tears up the Swiss Super League for a team which finished 9th out of 12 sides last season, yes.
Sir Jim, you mad b*stard. You’ve done it again.
Palm reading
‘Cole Palmer reveals he FELL ASLEEP at half-time of huge England World Cup game’ – The Sun website.
Man goes to sleep at about 3am. More as we get it.
Welcome, Matt
And finally, a warm welcome from The Sun website:
‘Incoming Newcastle boss Matthias Jaissle’s partner is glamorous jet-setting model who is his No1 fan’
…and Daily Star website:
‘Meet Matthias Jaissle’s jaw-dropping model WAG ‘joining Eddie Howe successor at Newcastle”
On behalf of the entire British media: sorry.
