Newcastle have reached a ‘full agreement’ for Nick Woltemade for seventy-three million actual pounds in what would be one of the most extraordinary transfers in Premier League transfers in history. And having read between David Ornstein’s lines, Alexander Isak is going to Liverpool.
We thought the Newcastle madness had peaked as they prepared a third bid of £60m for Jorgen Strand-Larsen, but having been told the Norwegian was a no-go at any price by Wolves – in a clear example of the striker insanity extending far beyond the walls of St James’ park – they’ve now agreed to pay a minimum of £73.4m for a striker with even fewer league goals last season than their previous target.
Sky Germany’s Florian Plettenberg broke the story on X: ‘EXCLUSIVE | Nick #Woltemade to Newcastle – DONE DEAL! Full agreement with Stuttgart: €85 million fixed fee plus €5 million in add-ons. #NUFC The player is on his way and has already said goodbye to the squad.’
Woltemade got 12 Bundesliga goals, and even without allowing for the necessary Farmer’s League to Best League In The World conversion, that’s less than Strand Larsen’s 14.
Let’s be absolutely clear, we think Woltemade is a good striker, and at a reasonable price – maybe as that fanciful second striker Newcastle were initially targeting this summer – we would congratulate them on a smart bit of business. But while we know that the current striker market has led to grossly inflated fees being paid, Woltemade is valued at £26m by Transfermarkt.
Perhaps even more comical are reports that Bayern were quoted £64m by Stuttgart when they had several bids rejected for the German earlier this summer. Add to that the fact that Woltemade joined Stuttgart from Werder Bremen on a free transfer a year ago – when he was valued at £3.5m after two goals in 30 Bundesliga appearances in 2023/2024 – and this may just be the most extraordinary transfer in Premier League history.
READ MORE: Isak tops best available striker ranking as desperate Newcastle given nine possible replacements
The £10m increase in price is a Desperation Tax. Stuttgart saw Newcastle coming a mile off and have set an entirely unreasonable rate for an unproven striker which they knew the Magpies wouldn’t challenge as they have no time left in the transfer window to source a different option having rifled through most of them already. And that’s assuming the Bundesliga side did set the price and Newcastle didn’t just pluck this extraordinary figure from thin air, which is perfectly possible given they have no sporting director to negotiate these transfers.
Having failed to land Liam Delap, Joao Pedro, Hugo Ekitike, Benjamin Sesko, Yoane Wissa and Jorgen Strand Larsen, Newcastle are effectively signing their seventh choice striker for £73.4m. And that’s if we’re not including their reported interest in Ollie Watkins, Nicolas Jackson, Alexander Sorloth and whomever else they’ve approached and been snubbed by ahead of this bid for Woltemade, who is in the unfortunate position of arriving as more a sign of their transfer window cock-up than the marquee striker his price tag suggests he should be.
READ MORE: Chelsea offer Newcastle £10m alternative to Strand Larsen who would fly under Eddie Howe
He probably doesn’t care too much and we hope he doesn’t. As always, he doesn’t set his price and should currently be looking forward to what must be something approaching a dream move for him, to the Premier League, playing for a Champion League side.
But we can’t help but feel the biggest winner in all of this will end up being Alexander Isak. It’s telling that nowhere in David Ornstein’s reporting of this move was it mentioned that Woltemade is not a replacement for Isak, which was made very, very clear in his breaking stories about their push for Strand Larsen, presumably under threat of being cut out of the transfer loop by Newcastle insiders.
And that would make Newcastle the biggest losers, if this long and painful search for a new striker (or strikers) hadn’t ensured that was the case anyway.
