Bruno Fernandes should be nowhere near the PFA Player of the Year conversation after an “asterisk” of a season for Manchester United akin to “year-long holiday”.
That’s according to angry man (or man pretending to be angry) Adrian Durham, who launched into an impassioned rant for talkSPORT on what has been a “pathetic” campaign from Fernandes.
The Red Devils captain has 19 Premier League assists this term, one short of Kevin De Bruyne and Thierry Henry’s joint-record, but Durham is having none of it.
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He said: “My tolerance level has peaked with people banging on, droning on, whining on about Bruno Fernandes and his assist stats.
“And he’s going to break some record or other apparently. First of all, assist stats. I mean, do they really mean that much? They’re a little guide.
“Yes, you can use them, fine. But what was this assist? Was it a pass to somebody who smacked in a
“Anyway, besides that, let’s just say Bruno Fernandes’ assist stats should carry an asterisk. Someone said to me the other day that Bruno Fernandes should be Player of the Year.
“I haven’t laughed so much since I caught on video Alex Crook, the chief football correspondent, doing the YMCA in a bar near Wembley. And he’s still paying me for keeping that video.”
An ‘asterisk’ season
Manchester United haven’t been competing in Europe this season and were knocked out of both cup competitions early, and Durham put forward a lack of football as the reason those “fawning over him are a total joke”.
He continued: “Bruno Fernandes is basically taking a year off football this season. He’s having a year long holiday. And for Bruno, this whole season should be asterisked.
“And people fawning over him are a total joke. He won’t even play 40 games this season. It’s pathetic.
“Declan Rice and Rayan Cherki have played 50 already with more to come. Nico O’Reilly is on 49 and he’s a baby. Martin Zubimendi is on 51 already with more to come.
“These are proper contenders, not someone who’s turning up once a week and isn’t even in double figures goals. And by the way, of his eight goals this season – only eight goals – just one was against the top side.
“And even then, that was Chelsea, so it doesn’t even count. So he’s got a big number of assists, okay? Fair enough.
“But of course, he looks good when he’s been part of a side that’s only playing Premier League games.
“He was one of the reasons United aren’t in Europe this season. He was on the pitch when they got knocked out of the League Cup by Grimsby. Lauding someone’s assist stats in their laziest season ever is praising failure.
“He doesn’t have the pressure or the physical cost of multiple competitions.
“Show some respect to proper footballers by leaving him out of the player of the year conversation. Stick an asterisk next to the assist tally because he’s got his numbers up by not bothering with any other competitions.
“Just finally on this. A season of just 40 games is an embarrassment for a club like Manchester United.
“So Captain Calamity can stick all his assist stats in the bin because he got them by taking a week off between games, which is something top footballers don’t do.
“How can Man United fans be celebrating this season when it is so embarrassing and he’s a part of it?
“I pointed out to you two a couple of weeks ago that he did an interview very recently in a British newspaper whereby he said that actually they were basically wrong to sack Ruben Amorim.
“They were wrong to sack him because they had, in his words, something going under Ruben Amorim.
“When asked about Michael Carrick and how it was going, he said, well, anyone could look good in spells.
“So is this really somebody who’s being fully supportive of what’s going on at the football club? That’s not a proper captain to me.
“You should be embarrassed by this. You should be embarrassed by this. But typical Man United fans, they latch on to somebody they think is a hero because they’ve got nothing else to latch on to.
“It’s so easy for Man United this season. This season isn’t the test.”
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