Key events
9 min: … there’s a pinball game in the six-yard box, but Stones can’t force the ball goalwards. New Zealand counter, a long ball down the left sending Wood scuttling towards the England box. England are fortunate that Wood isn’t blessed with pace, and he sputters out.
8 min: Henderson crosses from a deep position on the left. The ball’s flicked out for another corner with Watkins lurking. And from the resulting corner, sent in from the right …
6 min: Stamenic turns into space, inside his own half, and pearls a lovely pass down the inside-left channel to release Just into space. Just crosses low to … nobody in the middle. Shame a team-mate couldn’t keep up with play, because that was a good move, and England were opened up a bit too easily there. “Are England and New Zealand really worrying about a poor pitch that might break up as the game progresses? Where are they playing, Lord’s?” Bob O’Hara, ladies and gentlemen, he’s here all week, try the Two For $10 Dasani Water or $12.50 Peanut and Pretzel Combo.
4 min: Rashford brings the ball under control elegantly down the left, and cuts back for Henderson, whose first-time drive for goal is blocked and cleared. All England possession in these early exchanges.
2 min: Rashford drops deep and goes long, looking for Watkins. Cacace takes a wild swipe at a clearance and slices behind for the first corner of the match. But soon enough the ball is back at the feet of Pickford. Some early Kiwi nerves betrayed.
England get the ball rolling. Wood and Kane enjoying a friendly chat on the halfway line.
The teams are out at the Raymond James Stadium, home of the two-time Super Bowl winning Tampa Bay Buccaneers. New Zealand in all white, England 1966 red. We’ll be off once anthems have been sung, pennants swapped, coins tossed and fists bumped.
Pre-match postbag. “Worth keeping an eye on Eli Just. He’s built like he could hide behind a lamppost, but he’s been absolute magic for Motherwell this season (our player of the year, and also the player’s player of the year – the guys who play against him rate him incredibly highly). So long as the ref doesn’t let England kick him in exactly the way that the SFA’s finest have been happy to wave through, he could give them a helluva scare tonight. I mean, obviously now I’ve said that he’ll play like a drain, but if it keeps the vultures away that’s all to the good” – James Humphries
“As you say, the game itself is of minimal import. I am, however, interested in it as an early indicator of how awful ITV’s coverage will be this time around. Presumably his absence from the squad should at least reduce the amount of droning on about Phil Foden” – Tom Hopkins
“What is the point of these injury-risking warm-ups against a side that obviously won’t be involved in the business end of the tournament? Surely New Zealand could have found more worthwhile opposition?” – Justin Kavanagh (because somebody had to go there)
More from a very cheerful and relaxed Tuchel on ITV: “We had a good training week … a lot in the legs … this is the first really hot day … hotter in the stadium than outside … I see no problem why we shouldn’t implement our high press … our ball speed … hopefully have a lot of possession because it is nicer to play with the ball than off the ball in the heat … there is always a chance to impress … the door is always open … I have a lot of trust in the group … they will not lose my trust today, no matter what happens, but there is always the chance to make a good impression.”
Thomas Tuchel is asked about the state of the slightly tatty pitch – a few squares of turf curling up at the edges – on ITV. “I haven’t been out there … we just decided that we will blame the pitch if it doesn’t go so well! … but jokes aside … New Zealand trained yesterday and said it doesn’t look good but it’s playable … let’s see.”
Morgan Rogers talks to ITV from a hot and humid Raymond James Stadium in Tampa. “So excited … it’s a young boy’s dream to be in this position, to represent my country in a World Cup … it being so close, the excitement gets bigger every day … it’s hot, as expected … we’ve got a job to do … acclimatise … get used to it and be in the best possible shape when the time comes … we’re going to have to push ourselves to the limit … strategy will be a big thing at the tournament.”
Thomas Tuchel is expected to change the entire team at half-time. A reminder that he won’t be able to call on Declan Rice, Eberechi Eze, Bukayo Saka or Noni Madueke, with all four Arsenal players joining the squad late after their exertions in the Champions League final.
New Zealand are ranked 85th in the world. Their star performer is the aforementioned Chris Wood of Nottingham Forest, with 45 goals in 89 appearances for the All Whites. Motherwell winger Elijah Just will be looking for his tenth international goal tonight, Peterborough’s Matt Garbett provides graft in midfield, while Millwall’s Max Crocombe starts inbetween the sticks.
That’s quite the attack. Morgan Rogers and Marcus Rashford have both scored 15 goals for club and country this season; Ollie Watkins has 22; Harry Kane a preposterous 66. Just the 118 goals between them. Phew. It’s not the quickest midfield pairing in Jordan Henderson and Kobbie Mainoo, mind, and you’d get generous odds on them starting alongside each other against Croatia a week on Wednesday. But you can’t have everything.
The teams
England: Pickford, Quansah, Stones, Guehi, Spence, Mainoo, J Henderson, Rogers, Kane, Rashford, Watkins.
Subs: D Henderson, Trafford, Konsa, O’Reilly, Anderson, Bellingham, Livramento, Burn, Gordon, Toney, James, Scott, King, Nwaneri, Ngumoha.
New Zealand: Crocombe, Payne, Boxall, Surman, Cacace, Garbett, Bell, Stamenic, Singh, Wood, Just.
Subs: Paulsen, Woud, de Vries, Bindon, Rufer, Pijnaker, Barbarouses, Waine, Old, McCowatt, Randall, Elliot, Bayliss, Smith.
We’ve also got a guide to every single player going to North America this summer. Every last one of them just an elegant clickity-click away.
… and on that very subject, this is great fun / dangerously addictive. Fiddle around, and find out how quickly the draw can get all out of whack when just one of the leading contenders fails to win their group, as they did when I ran my model. Oh Spain, that last-minute equaliser for Cape Verde so costly! The knock-on effect was an all-Iberian quarter-final clash with Portugal, who swept them aside just as they did in the Nations League last year. Portugal went on to the final, where they were beaten by Turkey, who had surprised Germany in the semis. I had Scotland making the quarters, as well, so I wouldn’t rush out to the bookies and lump big on any of this. But yes, great fun.
… so having talked about not getting too far ahead of ourselves too soon, here’s a piece about England’s route to glory, as determined by Opta and their big calculator. Hey, we’re nothing if not a broad church.
Preamble
Let’s be honest with ourselves and each other: this really doesn’t matter that much. Not only is it a World Cup warm-up game, contested by two teams trying out a few things and making sure nobody pulls up lame, it’s also a World Cup warm-up game between England and New Zealand … and history suggests those two nations aren’t much of a match.
But first up, consider the state of play as is. England will go into the tournament as third-favourites to win, behind just Spain and France and ahead of five-time winners Brazil and reigning champions Argentina. New Zealand meanwhile made it to the finals having beaten Tahiti, Vanuatu, Samoa, Fiji and New Caledonia in qualifying, to the cumulative score of 29-1, and have subsequently lost eight of their last ten matches, the latest an embarrassing 4-0 defeat by Haiti. Their only win during that sequence was an admittedly good-looking 4-1 victory over Chile … who went down to ten men after 27 minutes.
And then there’s our good old friend The Past. England and New Zealand have officially met twice previously, both matches held within the space of five days in the summer of 1991. Graham Taylor’s team won both games, 1-0 and 2-0, Gary Lineker, Stuart Pearce and David Hirst doing the damage. There were another six unofficial games in the sixties: between June 1961 and June 1969, England won every one of them, running up an aggregate score of 35-2.
So, y’know. But then England’s last two outings weren’t that impressive – a 1-1 draw with Uruguay and a 1-0 defeat to Japan, both at Wembley – so it’s probably best for everyone not to get too far ahead of themselves. Yet despite the generally tepid nature of pre-tournament warm-ups, and with all their concomitant line-up experiments and substitutions, this game tonight should be a shoo-in for Thomas Tuchel’s team. Hey, if they don’t win, the internet won’t explode … but it may start gently rocking and convulsing with mirth. Not that anyone should be too euphoric/embarrassed. Because let’s be honest with ourselves and each other: this really doesn’t matter that much. Kick-off is at 9pm BST. It’s on!
