What even was this? What does any of it mean? A game that might anyway have been considered meaningless by many, the final encounter of an already settled series, was rendered almost absurd by England’s towering margin of victory and the extraordinary, borderline nonsensical fashion in which it was decided.
As Jacob Bethell, who marked it with the first century of his professional career, put it: “Very good fun, yeah. Not much else to say.”
England, having already lost the series, romped to their fifth-highest total of all time; South Africa, having already won the series, were dismissed for their second lowest score, and the result was the single most one‑sided match in the history of the format, the teams divided in the end by 342 runs.
Hundreds from Bethell and Joe Root helped England to post 414 for five, after which a magnificent display with the ball from Jofra Archer bewitched South Africa as all nine wickets – their captain, Temba Bavuma, unable to bat because of a calf strain – fell for just 72. Harry Brook called it “the ultimate performance”; Bavuma surmised that “things went terribly wrong”.
England scored at least two runs in each of their 50 overs; Archer’s first five overs included three wicket maidens, and by the end of them he had four wickets and had conceded just five. He stayed on for a sixth and a seventh, not wanting to snip the magic thread, returning later for a couple more and if those perhaps included his best single delivery of all – to Corbin Bosch, who was a complete irrelevance as the ball whispered sweet nothings to his off-stump on its way past at 93mph – there would be no more breakthroughs.
“There are some spells you hardly bowl a bad ball, where every ball you release you’re happy with how it’s landed,” Archer said. “For the most part today was one of those.”
Most England players ended the day equally content. In addition to their two centurions Jamie Smith (off 48 balls) and Jos Buttler (32) stood out in scoring precisely 62, and only Ben Duckett – playing his final innings of an intense summer and apparently in need of the rest he has finally been granted – and Brook, who ran himself out for the second time in the series and is probably due some time off as well, looked in anything less than fine touch.
As pleased as England would have been with their total, Bethell’s contribution was particularly sweet. They have gone all in on the 21‑year‑old’s talent: just over six weeks before he turns 22 this was his 33rd international innings, his 141st as a senior professional, and if his promise across all formats has always been evident he had clearly been desperate for this affirmation.
As the ball sped through the covers to carry him to triple figures he ran down the pitch, arms outstretched, and aeroplaned into the arms of Root, celebrating his very first century with someone on route to his 73rd.
“I think he’ll score a few more, there’s no doubt about that,” Shukri Conrad, South Africa’s head coach, said. “I first saw Jacob at the Under-19 World Cup [in 2022, when he scored 88 runs off 42 and England won by six wickets]. He put us to the sword in that as well.”
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South Africa’s chances of reaching a daunting target of 415, already diminished by Bavuma’s injury, evaporated as both Aiden Markram and Wiaan Mulder departed for ducks in the first two overs, and Ryan Rickelton followed in the third having scored a comparatively princely one. They had lost five wickets by the time they had scored as many runs as the 19 they gave away in wides.
Their run of wins against England in this format thereby ends on four, England beating them here for the first time since the teams last played a dead-rubber final game in a three‑match series the Proteas had already wrapped up, in Kimberley in February 2023. In that regard there is something of a theme, and South Africa have now lost the last game of their past four one-day international series, in Ireland, Pakistan, Australia and now England. It is just a couple of weeks since they last found themselves 2-0 up with one to play, and on that occasion Australia scored 431 and won by 276.
“We were definitely off today and against a top side when you’re not on top of your game you do get exposed,” Conrad said. “A similar thing happened in Australia, a complete aberration. If we’re going to be poor at something we’d rather be poor at games that aren’t clutch games. Not making light of today’s game, it was an embarrassing performance in the field and the batting just followed.”
The day started with South Africa dropping Senuran Muthusamy and Lungi Ngidi – Codi Yusuf coming in for a chastening ODI debut – and then they also dropped the quality of their fielding, as well as Smith (inexplicably, by Matthew Breetzke, on 23) and Bethell (puzzlingly, by Nandre Burger, on 44). It was a performance they will want to forget, but a result so bad they may not be allowed to do so.
