Key events
30th over: England 152-7 (Overton 17, Carse 35) Another HUGE six, clubbed high and into the yellow seats by Carse. And another! Over his shoulder like a mouldy potato. The fifty partnership comes up from 40 balls. Plays and misses at the last. DRINKS, with England recovering.
29th over: England 138-7 (Overton 16, Carse 23) This is looking. rather more cheerful for England, back to back sixes by Carse who slog-sweeps Santner way over the rope.
28th over: England 126-7 (Overton 16, Carse 11) A big meaty slice by Overton off Smith and the ball flies for four. Almost out a couple of balls later when he loops the ball just short of mid-off.
27th over: England 121-7 (Overton 11, Carse 12) The two big men starting to throw their weight around here. Carse finishes the over by pounding Santner to mid-off, where Duffy misfields ot the let the ball run for four.
26th over: England 113-7 (Overton 5, Carse 3) Overton biffs six – sorry having some technical problems here.
25th over: England 106-7 (Overton 5, Carse 3) Just three singles off Santner’s over.
24th over: England 103-7 (Overton 4, Carse 1) Almost halfway through this innings, at least in theory. And the TV shows more blissful pictures of the harbour, the houses behind climbing into the hills. Meanwhile, outside my window, in the inky blackness, the wind blows and the rain falls.
24th over: England 103-7 (Overton 4, Carse 1) I cannot tell you how Carse is still there, he gets a beauty from Tickner to start his innings, then has a wild mow and miss at the next two balls.
WICKET! Buttler b Tickner 38(England 102-7)
Buttler goes after the first ball of the over again, looking for bounty, but it is a beauty that nips back and waves goodbye to Buttler’s merry drive and into the stumps.
22nd over: England 101-6 ( Buttler 37, Overton 4) Overton has been flying this series, while the top order floundered, and here muscles Tickner to the boundary second ball. The Curran-Buttler axis had just started to look good.
“Evening Tanya,” Hello Fergus in Bridport
“I’m not normally up at the time. Was doing my first pop up curry night and still feeling the energy of it all.
“Anyway. Just stopped by to say, I should have just not looked. Its easier to read about the collapse after the event, rather than witness it in real time.”
Apologies, and congratulations for your curry night. Excuse my ignorance but does that mean your house turns temporarily into a pop-up Indian restaurant?
WICKET! Curran b Tickner 17 (England 97-6)
Played on! Tries to guide the ball away but instead wafts it into his stump. A patient innings.
21st over: England 96-5 ( Buttler 36, Curran 17) This time Curran gets stuck in, nods at a shorter ball from Smith and pulls him for four.
20th over: England 92-5 ( Buttler 36, Curran 13)And again, two fours off the first two balls of the over. Buttler has the bit between his teeth. With twinkling toes he pounds Tickner for four, and again, as he advances down the pitch and shimmy-shimmies down the ground. A great take from Latham stops a wide flying down to the rope.
19th over: England 81-5 ( Buttler 27, Curran 12) Back-to-back boundaries off Smith’s first two balls as Buttler bananas the first through mid off and scoops the next, with wiggling shoulder.
18th over: England 70-5 ( Buttler 17, Curran 11) Blair Tickner now, great to see him back in a New Zealand shirt, clockwork doll action and tattooed arm. He screams with scrambled seam through the gap but misses Buttler’s stump. One from the over.
Simon spoke to Tickner last week
17th over: England 69-5 ( Buttler 16, Curran 11) Smith is teasing Buttler, who walks across his stumps but is still beaten on the outside edge. Picks up a single – and that’s it for the over.
“Thank you for bringing up parma violet,” sayd David Timms.”Possibly the worst candy ever made. Fortunately, they now do gin, and a household fragrance.” They taste like a household fragrance.
16th over: England 68-5 ( Buttler 15, Curran 11) Foulkes does get another but his first ball is a long hop and Curran is quick to fizz it through the covers for four. Nearly undone next ball though, searching for the outside edge.
15th over: England 64-5 ( Buttler 15, Curran 7) And here comes the bowling change, Nathan Smith, dark hair, hint of a mullet, neat moustache, right arm quick-ish. Buttler waits out four dot balls then drives a wider ball through the covers for four.
14th over: England 59-5 ( Buttler 11, Curran 6) Calm has returned, as Buttler and Curran see through another over, waiting, I guess, for a change of bowling. Foulkes still making the ball sing. They take DRINKS.
To be fair to Mark Kelly he sent this email an hour ago. “How are England favourites for this game? The betting industry wouldn’t be a thing without mugs like me but I just don’t get it.
Yeah I bet on England anyway. Don’t judge me.” Mark…
13th over: England 57-5 ( Buttler 10, Curran 5) It’s not fun to bat at Wellington on a sunny day, the commentators say. It’s when the ball swings. Hopefully England have worked that out now. A couple of firmly run singles, Buttler sprints down the pitch and lands and slides on his belly.
12th over: England 55-5 ( Buttler 9, Curran 4) A couple of wides again from Foulkes, but they’re the only runs from the over.
“Date scones? Date scones? asks Ian Copestake. “Considering the size of dates to raisins, how big are the scones?” Perhaps chopped dates Ian?
11th over: England 53-5 ( Buttler 9, Curran 4) A glimpse of Wellington harbour, deep blue with a white sailed boat, proves gentle respite from the England card.Parma Violet anyone? (I haven’t had one for 40 years and can now confirm they’re disgusting)
WICKET! Bethell c Mitchell b Duffy 11 (England 44-5)
Outstanding catch! Mitchell throws himself into the air at slips and holds on with both hands to Bethell’s heady slash at a wide ball. He tosses the ball behind him as he lands -all in a day’s work.
10th over: England 44-4 (Bethell 11, Buttler 5) Foulkes is making the ball sing. A corking inswinger and a huge lbw shout against Buttler – but not out and New Zealand don’t review. Tonks four next ball.
“This is threatening to become habit forming,” writes Brian Withington. “Thank goodness there’s plenty of time to recover before England next face another attack as good as NZ’s …”
9th over: England 40-4 (Bethell 11, Buttler 5) I think Buttler is key to this, a few more brains to his biff. Drives Duffy sweetly to the rope. Bethell also picks up four, though with more of a wild west approach, a thick edge wide of the slips. In between, a near run-out.
8th over: England 31-4 (Bethell 7, Buttler 0) An immaculate maiden from Foulkes.
7th over: England 31-4 (Bethell 7, Buttler 0) Bethell picks up four thanks to Ravindra accidentally throwing the ball over the boundary as he fields. Brook falls to actually one of his least aggressive shots, and then Duffy greets Buttler with a beauty of an away swinger.
WICKET! Brook c Bracewell b Duffy 6 (England 31-4)
And another! Brook props forward and slots the cheese straight to the waiting fox at second slip.
6th over: England 26-3 (Brook 6, Bethell 2) England are helped by a couple of wides from Foulkes, Bethell got a gorgeous ball first delivery that straightens, but Brook edges four later in the over.
5th over: England 19-3 (Brook 2, Bethell 1) This is the first I’ve seen of this series and it’s a dog’s breakfast so far. Straight in, food everywhere, and a right mess all over the kitchen floor.
WICKET! Duckett c Ravindar b Duffy 8 (England 17-3)
Um. Duckett pulls/hacks, top edges and Ravindra takes a running catch at mid-on. Not pretty.
4th over: England 17-2 (Duckett 8, Brook 2) Another low score for Root in what has been a series to forget. Brook attacks his first ball as a man trying to hack out of a burning barn and nearly loses his stumps. Picks up a more sensible two later in the over.
WICKET! Root lbw Foukes 2 (England 15-2)
A corking inswinger hones in on Root’s pads. Root stuck in the crease has no answer.
3rd over: England 9-1 (Duckett 8, Root 2) Five dots and a huge six flayed by Duckett over deep square leg off Duffy.
2nd over: England 9-1 (Duckett 2, Root 2) A very good over by Foulkes and his long-legged run-up. Smith cracked four from his first ball, but was nearly bowled by his third which licked in and just over the stumps. Lost his wicket next ball. .
WICKET! Smith c b Foulkes (England 7-0)
New Zealand are very confident that they will overturn the not-out decision on the field… and so they should be. Paul Reiffel is the TV umpire and soon finds the guilty spike. A gung-ho slap Smith’s downfall.
1st over: England 3-0 (Smith 1, Duckett 2) England off the mark with a streaky outside edge as Smith throws bat at ball. A decent first over from Duffy. I reach into the leftover Halloween chocolate and pull out some Love Hearts. DREAM BIG is the instruction.
A moment’s silence for young Ben Austin, who died after being hit in the nets while practising in Melbourne.
Grant Elliot has the microphone, and very suave he looks too in his brown Chelsea boots and green cords. Apparently 296 is the average score for a winning team here. But are England listening?
Aha! A message drops from the Guardian’s Simon Burnton, fresh from a date scone.
“Morning/afternoon/whatever Tanya. So, we’ve reached the end. The end of the tour – or at least this leg of it – and of England’s white-ball 2025. It’s been a rather ignominious end, for all that Harry Brook’s side “won” the “T20 series” that preceded these three ODIs.
“And the curtain comes down in Wellington’s Sky Stadium, which is expected to be less than a quarter full for the game. England trained yesterday at the Basin Reserve, the lovely bespoke cricket ground across town and perhaps the world’s finest roundabout, but for contractual reasons the match itself has to be played in a giant, echoing, sparsely-populated bowl and this is a bad thing.
“Beyond that, I have learned that Wellingtonians are extremely committed to celebrating Halloween in fully costumed and completely intoxicated style, and that date scones are the finest of all scones, with only cheese even close, and I will never understand why Britons insist on putting raisins in theirs.”
It’s a drop-in pitch and Conway reckons it might do a bit early after the weather they’ve had the last few weeks. Just going to grab a quick cup of tea, back in five.
Though this is a dead game, it could still give England valuable points as they scramble to automatically qualify for the 2027 World Cup. Simon has the details:
New Zealand XI
New Zealand XI: Devon Conway, Rachin Ravindra, Will Young, Daryl Mitchell, Tom Latham (wk), Michael Bracewell, Mitchell Santner (capt), Nathan Smith, Zak Foulkes, Blair Tickner, Jacob Duffy.
Conway for Williamson at the top of the order.
England XI
Unchanged.
England XI: Jamie Smith, Ben Duckertt, Joe Root, Jacob Bethell, Harry Brook (capt), Jos Buttler (wk), Sam Curran, Jamie Overton, Brydon Carse, Jofra Archer, Adil Rashid
New Zealand win the toss and will bowl
There’s a very cute little boy who hands the coin over to Mitchell Santner, who duly wins the toss. “It looks like a good wicket” Santner says, “a bit of grass on it.” One change – Devon Conway replaces Kane Williamson who has a twinge in the groin.
Brook says he’d like to win a toss at some point. “We’ll go out today, play with freedom, try and have fun. We haven’t quite got the runs but we’ll try and have some presence with our batting.”
Preamble
Good early morning! As damp skeletons skulk back home, time for England to dust themselves down for this third and final ODI in Wellington.
It is a dead game, the series already New Zealand’s. But Harry Brook will want to see lesser-spotted, runs, and lots of them. Play starts at 1am, do join us to see if England can raise their one-day game from the dead.
