Key events
Moises Caicedo equalises with a belter. He was probably the best player on the pitch before the goal and he certainly is now. A corner from the right, won by Neto, was headed away to the edge of the area by Casemiro. Caicedo took a couple of steps back and rifled a volley that went through the legs of Mudryk and beat Onana to his right.
GOAL! Man Utd 1-1 Chelsea (Caicedo 74)
Pick that out!
73 min: Man Utd substitution Amad Diallo on, Marcus Rashford off.
72 min: Chelsea substitution Enzo Fernandez and Mykhailo Mudryk have replaced Romeo Lavia and Noni Madueke.
GOAL! Man Utd 1-0 Chelsea (Fernandes 70 pen)
Bruno Fernandes sends Sanchez the wrong way and slides on his knees in delight! It’s been a dog of a game but this would be a big win for United.
The chance came when Casemiro pinged an angled cross into the area from the right. Fofana got under the ball, allowing Hojlund to pull away, control the ball at the far post and then knock it away from the diving Sanchez.
68 min: Penalty to Man Utd! Hojlund gets to a 55/45 ball a split second before Sanchez, who dives at his feet and brings him down. Hojlund was moving away from goal and Sanchez didn’t really need to commit.
68 min “Following Spurs’ modern take on Zemanlandia isn’t easy,” says Kári Tulinius, “but both Chelsea and Manchester United are lethargic. It’s like the players woke up this morning and thought: ‘Ugh, November…” and pulled their blankets over their heads.”
67 min Rashford is penalised for a challenge on Neto, slaps the ground in frustration and is booked.
65 min: Chance for Man Utd! Fernandes breaks down the right, moves into the area and lays the ball back to Garnacho. He’s totally unmarked, 10 yards out, but he snatches at the shot and kicks the ball into the ground, allowing Sanchez to make an easy save. That’s United’s best chance of the game.
64 min A panel on the Sky Sports coverage reminds us that only Southampton (7) have scored fewer than Man Utd’s 8 Premier League goals this season. In some games they’ve missed excellent chances; today, not so much.
Cucurella’s long-range shot is blocked, then Neto’s daisycutter is comfortably saved by Onana.
63 min A reminder that, when Chelsea last won at Old Trafford, Juan Mata was in a blue shirt (and scored the only goal), Sir Alex Ferguson and Rafa Benitez were the managers and the list of players involved included Fernando Torres, Wayne Rooney, Nathan Ake, Petr Cech and, er, Jonny Evans.
59 min Fernandes takes the corner short to Rashford on the left edge of the area. He cuts across the outrushing Palmer and belts a shot that is too close to Sanchez. Even so, Sanchez did well to hold it as it came through a crowd and bounced in front of him.
58 min Ugarte drives a terrific long pass out to Rashford on the right. His early cross bounces awkwardly at the far post and is studded behind for a corner by James.
55 min: Just wide from Pedro Neto! Palmer curls a simple pass across to field to Neto. He scurries towards the backpedalling Dalot, uses the overlapping Cucurella by not using him and whistles a cross shot just wide of the far post. That was a pretty good effort.
54 min Chelsea have some great attacking options on the bench including Christopher Nkunku and Joao Felix. United have a few injuries but they can turn to Amad Diallo and/or Joshua Zirkzee if they want.
52 min This is the highlight of the game so far.
51 min Casemiro, who scored a screamer in the week, has a shot from 25 yards that is blocked by Colwill.
49 min A slow start to the second half. It feels like this game is Chelsea’s to win; United are working hard but their lack of confidence going forward is increasingly apparent.
46 min Peep peep!
Chelsea substitution Marc Cucurella is on for Malo Gusto, so Reece James has moved across to right-back.
Half-time reading
‘You want loyalty, go get yourself a dog.’
“There’s also a popular Swedish cop series called Beck,” says Tony Clifton. “Fact. A mate of mine in Sweden met a woman online who told him she was into Beck. He thought she meant the musician. Nope.”
And she wasn’t into that TV nonsense either.
Half time: Man Utd 0-0 Chelsea
A frantic, sometimes scruffy first half ends goalless. Chelsea played the more cohesive football without creating many clear chances. In fact neither keeper had a really difficult save to make, though Noni Madueke and Marcus Rashford did hit the woodwork. See you in 15 minutes for more 21st century blood and thunder.
45+2 min: Rashford hits the bar! Fernandes, 30 yards out to the left of centre, clips a lovely angled pass over the Chelsea defence. Rashford meets it 10 yards out eight yards out and slides a sidefoot volley off the top of the bar. That’s the last kick of the half.
45+1 min Palmer’s free-kick is headed away by Casemiro.
45 min Dalot is booked for flattening Pedro Neto just outside the area on the left wing. There will be two minutes of added time.
44 min Palmer curls the free-kick beyond the far post, where Madueke (I think) knocks it dangerously back across goal. United eventually scramble the ball clear.
42 min Palmer improvises brilliantly on the halfway line to wrongfoot both Rashford and Casemiro and move into space. Ugarte decides he has to take a yellow card for the team and bundles Palmer over 30 yards from goal.
“That’s the best moment of the half,” says Gary Neville’s of Palmer’s delicious touch.
39 min “Documentary idea: when Pep met Beck,” says Paul Griffin. Face to face interview, covering POMO v tiki-taka, Catalan independence v Cambridgeshire independence, Messi and Xavi v Alan Kimble, and Steve Claridge and physical threats in half time team talks v data in half time team talks. Music by Beck (the other one).”
It took me a sentence and a half to realise you were talking about John Beck and not, you know, Beck Beck.
38 min There’s a load of pushing and shoving in the wall, which delays the free-kick by over two minutes. Eventually Fernandes clips a tame effort into the wall; moments later, Sanchez kicks away Garnacho’s cross from the byline.
36 min Sanchez makes an excellent save from Hojlund, though it wouldn’t have counted as the referee had already given United a free-kick for a foul by Gusto on Ugarte just outside the D. Gusto is booked.
35 min Palmer collects a poor pass from Ugarte in the centre circle and moves all the way to the edge of the area, United’s defenders backpedalling nervously. Eventually he drives a low shot that is again blocked by De Lgt.
34 min The corner is taken short and eventually swung deep. Onana drops the ball and is relieved to grab it at the second attempt.
33 min The relentless Gusto wins another corner, this time off Casemiro. Chelsea have certainly been the smoother side, though there isn’t much in the game overall.
31 min Caicedo is penalised for a late tackle on Fernandes. The referee gives him a warning rather than a card.
30 min Palmer has time to turn on the halfway line and move – he doesn’t run, don’t be so vulgar – into space. He squares the ball to Gusto, who finds the overlapping Madueke, who in turn wins a corner.
The corner is too close to Onana.
28 min “When he appeared seemingly from nowhere, spent ages letting his knee repair, then started scoring a billion goals for a brilliant United side, van Nistelrooy was an easy man to dislike,” says Matt Dony. “And he looked awkward and gangly and weird. We all grow up, and he comes across like a thoughtful, intelligent guy. That’s fine. But how has he turned into such a handsome fella? That picture of him at the top of the feed is amazing! And before anyone suggests it’s the restorative power of a beard and glasses, why doesn’t that work for me? Anyway, back in the rare, but not unprecedented, position of hoping for a United win. Because Chelsea could be a rival for Liverpool. Whereas United, well, we all know…”
I’m sure all Arsenal fans will share your sentiments. The oddity of Van Nistelrooy’s career is that, while he was utterly deadly for his first three seasons, United often weren’t. In fact they won only one league title in his five years at the club, by far their worst run under Sir Alex Ferguson after their breakthrough in 1992-93.
