Key events
Half-time entertainment:
The Guardian has kicked off a new chapter in puzzles with the launch of its first daily football game, On the ball. It is now live in the app for both iOS and Android … so what are you waiting for?
HALF-TIME: Newcastle United 2-0 West Ham United
Eddie Howe’s men are well worth their advantage, but don’t rule West Ham out quite yet.
45+3 min West Ham have looked better since changing formation – the ball is sticking more up front and they’re not any more porous at the back. I’d expect them to score, but I’d not be at all surprised if they conceded again,
45+1 min “That’s that then,” reckons Dave Estherby. “No doubt Spurs fans watching this will be celebrating but the Tottenham board would do well to consider that avoiding relegation by finishing 17th two seasons in a row, when two of the teams that did go down in those years were a) Wolves and b) Russell Martin’s comically incompetent Southampton, is abject to say the very least. I’d love to know what’s in De Zerbi’s contract.”
What we’ve seen of De Zerbi so far, I’d expect a significant improvement next season. I imagine the contract says pretty much what he wanted it to, because desperation stinks.
45 min There’s a decent tempo to this game now, but West Ham badly need a livener We’ll have three additional minutes.
44 min And he tries one here when Wilson finds him, crossing into the corridor but way too powerfully for whatever he was hoping to achieve.
42 min What do we think about El-Hadji Diouf, then? First time I saw him play, I was extremely impressed, but now I’m wondering if he’s an average footballer with an incredibly athletic profile and a blinding cross.
41 min West Ham win a free-kick 40 yards out, left of centre, which Diouf hammers over the by-line.
40 min What level of player do we think Anthony Gordon is? I think he’s decent, but he’d be doing very well to get to Bayern, I’d say – they need more, much more, than the occasional open-play goal and some useful penalty-taking.
39 min Newcastle win a corner that yields another, Mavrapanos heading away. West Ham look like they’ve a goal or two in them, but they also look liable to concede another couple.
37 min “The sound and fury of an Argentinian and a Brazilian cursing each other in their related-but-distinctly-different tongues about a footballing disagreement is something to behold,” reckons Peter Oh. “Castellanos v Guimarães is the latest installment. I wonder if we might be treated to a World Cup version this summer.”
That’d be nice. You can’t beat some behaviour that no one wants to see that in fact everyone wants to see.
36 min A ball over the top from Guomaraes and Osula steals away from Mavrapanos, leaping to collect … and misses it entirely. West Ham look like they could score, but if they defend like that they’re not yet done conceding.
34 min This is now a game of football, Bowen playing into Wilson, who lays back for Summerville, who looks to thread through to meet Bowen’s run. Someone, Thiaw I think, intercepts, but West Ham appear to have decided they should probably start competing.
32 min West Ham have roused themselves, Summerville swinging over a terrific cross to the far post, which Wilson can’t quite get at, perhaps taking his eye off it. perhaps assuming the defenders will clear.
30 min But here comes West Ham, their most coherent attack so far, Fernandes finding Sumerville down the left, whose cut-back arrives into the stride of the advancing Castellanos, who leaps, shoots … and sees Pope palm away, then Diouf clobbers the loose ball and the keeper saves a second time.
29 min I said I was excited to see Fernandes, but he’s barely had a kick. Newcastle on the other hand, have been all over West Ham like a cheap rash.
27 min Castellanos leaves one on Guimaraes, and the ref gives him a going-over, then Trippier adds his thoughts and we get back under way, no booking.
26 min And here comes the change, a ruefully-smiling Todibo replaced, meaning no more three at the back, with Castellanos moving alongside Wilson in a 4-4-2.
25 min Nuno can’t tolerate any more of this, so has Castellanos getting ready with Todibo about to be hooked.
24 min But Newcastle then ooze forward once more, easily picking up spaces between men and lines to win a corner. It goes short, then Tonali curls into Hermansen’s midriff.
23 min Better from West Ham, Bowen moving down the right and cutting back for Fernandes, whose thumping shot is blocked at source.
21 min You never know, but this match feels over already.
LOVELY GOAL! Newcastle United 2-0 West Ham United (Osula 19)
Having shoved West Ham through the trapdoor, Newcastle stomp on the fingers with which they’re holding on. This is a glorious move, Tripper, Barnes, Guimaraes and Ramsey combining with delicious one-touch stuff, to send Osula marching through the middle, and his finish, punched side-footed, is emphatic, the goal as welcome in N17 as in NE1.
19 min Osula looks to poke a bouncing ball through for Barnes, but it runs away form him – just.
16 min Newcastle fancy this now and, from a West Ham perspective, that goal was way too easily taken.
GOAL! Newcastle United 1-0 West Ham United (Woltemade 14)
A careless pass from Hermansen is intercepted by Barnes, out on the right. He advances, Fernandes doing nowt to close him down, crosses, and Woltemade turns it with the flight of the ball and inside the far post. Trouble for Nuno’s boys.
13 min The next corner goes to the near post, where Osula heads behind.
12 min Var wants a look at the ball hitting Soucek’s arm and gosh, he does sidle towards it, though hands remains by side. No penalty is the verdict but had one been given, I doubt it’s overturned.
11 min Osula takes the ball in the centre-circle and whizzes between two defenders then, putting a ball into the box, it hits Soucek’s arm and goes behind. So, after a brief penalty check, the corner comes in and West Ham get it away – but it comers straight back again, Newcastle quickly winning another go from the opposite flank, the left.
10 min Newcastle win a corner down the right, it goes short and, from outside the box, Guimaraes sweeps a low outswinger that Pope saves easily enough.
9 min “Am I missing something here?” wonders Matthew Lysaght. “Four years isn’t exactly a Séamus-esque stint at a club now, is it? One trophy more, granted, but still…”
I think – and Newcastle fans, please correct me if I’m wrong – that Trippier is loved because his signing signalled an intention and, since arriving, he’s driven standards. The kind of standards that saw them win the elusive trophy you mention. So I’m not surprised he’s loved – see also: Casemiro, C.
7 min The word “hoof”:always makes me smile because when, as a kid, I went to the London Five-a-Sides, some older lads from school were there giving Warren Barton dog’s abuse and, every time he touched the ball, the lot of them wold shout “Hoooooof!”
6 min Guimaraes lends the ball out, seeking space for a momentum-shifting pass then, when he doesn’t find one, Tonali’s cross is hoofed into touch by Mavrapanos.
4 min Mavrapanos makes a hash of a bouncing ball and, worried by Osula, loses out. A pass infield, then one out to the right, increase the danger, but when the cross comes in, it’s cleared easily enough.
3 min West Ham knock it about, probing, with Newcastle sitting off. Then Mavrapnos drills a switch out to Wan-Bissaka, who beats his man, crosses … and Botman clears ahead of Summerville.
1 min Tonali punches a pass into middled, dummied nicely by Barnes, before Osula spreads … into touch.
1 min Fun fact: East London to Newcastle is a shorter journey than SJP forecourt to the top of the away end.
1 min Aaaaand away we go!
Our teams are tunnelled … and here they come, some of the Newcastle players holding children who I presume belong to them.
Email! “G’Day Daniel,” begins Chris Paraskevas in Australia. “It’s been the most difficult season in recent memory for us Newcastle fans, with a number of embarrassing results punctuated by the fact that our mortal enemies could be about to secure European football.
At times like this however, the farewell appearance of the legendary Kieran Trippier reminds us of how far we’ve come in a short space of time: from annual relegation candidates to trophy winners, it’s inevitable that there will be some pain to punctuate our rise.
However, the situation is not helped the fact that a certain Jarred Gillett is on whistle duty. Combined with a 2.30 am kick-off, a lack of sleep (the result neighbour’s dog + Amazonian parrot + dodgy leftover pizza) feels like one final [redacted] from the footballing gods, following on from Woltemade’s infamous own goal and having to sit through Lewis Hall as a right-back.
…and to top it all off I don’t think too many of us would mind if we lost to the Hammers and precipitated Spurs’ decline.
What am I doing with my life, Daniel?”
Yup, Newcastle need a win today to have any chance of finishing above Sunderland – and I can’t lie, Woltemade’s own goal is one of my funniest moments of the season. What a header.
As for what you’re doing with your life, you seem to have accepted like, the rest of us, you’re not well, poorly with football and rightly so.
Eddie Howe says his team have improved in the last three or four games and they’re desperate to win today. Joelinton hurt himself in training so he’s out and, though the injury isn’t serious, it doesn’t sound like he’ll play next weekend.
He’s full of praise for Trippier and what he’s done for the team and “the people of Newcastle,” concluding by noting what a good, flexible team West Ham are.
Next week, West Ham face Leeds at home – an eminently winnable match, in theory, except Daniel Farke’s side are sprinting to the finish, a pilfered win over Brighton this afternoon augmenting the vibes yet further.
I’m not surprised Nuno’s stuck with the back three deployed against Arsenal, as it gives him what he likes, which also suits his players: defensive numbers, especially centrally, quick counters, and an extra set-piece target. If Newcastle play really well, they’ll win, but I fancy West Ham to get something.
Nuno knows this is a must-win game and is hoping for a good performance against a very tough team. His players, motivated and ready to compete, trust themselves, the togetherness is there, and Wilson has been picked because he delivers goals.
It’s a funny thing, really. On the one hand, it’s great to see fans of English clubs – Palace this season, perhaps Sunderland and Brentford next – get to go on Euro aways when they thought they might spend a lifetime without one. But, on the other, the upper-middle of the Premier League is so much stronger than the equivalent elsewhere that you expect both Europa and Conference Leagues – the latter a massive success – to be won by clubs of that ilk more often than not.
So Brighton miss the opportunity to put themselves in pole position for the sixth place that might be enough for the Champions League, while Sunderland still have a shot at Europe. What a season they’ve had.
Results
Brentford 2-2 Crystal Palace
Everton 1-3 Sunderland
Leeds 1-0 Brighton
Wolves 1-1 Fulham
I’m really looking forward to seeing how Fernandes gets on against Tonali and Guimarães. I absolutely love him as a player – his excellence in all phases and the way he directs much older teammates about the park – but can he take hold of what’s probably the biggest match he’s ever played in?
As for West Ham, they’ll want to clutter up the middle of the pitch forcing Newcastle to go around them and knowing that, if they pick their moments judiciously, they’ve the quality to play through Newcastle. If not, though, Bowen and Summerville are dynamite on the counter and we can be certain they’ll be haring forward at every opportunity, liberated, you assume, from the majority of defensive duties.
I also think Nuno will want El-Hadjo Diouf to motor down the left, looking to sling over crosses for Wilson and Tomas Soucek, who I’d also expect to be dangerous at set-pieces.
So where is the game? Newcastle will look to use Woltemade as a pivot, playing into him as he drops off, with Barnes, Ramsey and Osula attacking space in behind. And I’d also expect him to hit the box, looking to get on the end of crosses, especially high ones, with width supplied by Trippier and Lewis Hall. Otherwise, Bruno Guimarães and Sandro Tonali will look to control midfield, outrunning but also outplaying West Ham’s trio.
As for West Ham, they go for experience, Callum Wilson surprisingly replacing Taty Castellanos.
Newcastle make two changes to the side which drew at Forest. In come Kieran Trippier, making his last appearance at SJP – and what an impact he’s had – and Harvey Barnes, with Dan Burn and Joelinton dropping out. Anthony Gordon, likely to leave in the summer, remains on the bench, Eddie Howe having previously said he’d be looking to next season with his selections.
And, in the meantime, we’ve plenty to keep you in thrall:
I’ll scribble these down, then we’ll think about what they might mean.
Teams!
Newcastle United (4-2-3-1): Pope; Trippier, Botman, Thiaw, Hall; Guimaraes, Tonali; Ramsey, Woltemade, Barnes; Osula. Subs: Burn, Elanga, Gordon, Murphy A, Murphy J, Neave, Ramsdale, Willock, Wissa.
West Ham United (3-4-2-1): Hermansen; Mavropanos, Todibo, Disasi; Wan-Bissaka, Fernandes, Soucek, Diouf; Bowen, Summerville; Wilson. Subs: Areola, Castellanos, Kanté, Kilman, Magassa, Pablo, Potts, Scarles, Walker-Peters.
Referee: Jarred Gillett: (Gold Coast, Australia)
Preamble
With just a week of the Premier League season remaining, it’s time for some honest reflection: M&S sherbet fruits are the best football snack. Or Mini Eggs the standard at the top is not high. However, the level beneath that – from sixth all the way down to 18th – has never been higher, anywhere.
And for proof, all we need to do is take look at West Ham: it’s arguable that, whether the final relegation slot is filled by them or Tottenham, currently sat two points ahead, no better side will ever have gone down. Matheus Fernandes and Jarrod Bowen are top players; Crysencio Summerville and Taty Castellanos are more than useful; and a goodly number of others are well up to playing top-division football.
Nor is West Ham’s form that of a relegation outfit. In each of the last nine seasons, 36 points has been enough to stay up, but they have that with two games to go – as well as two wins and a draw in their last five.
Of course, they’re being punished now for dreadful form in the early part of the season, especially under Graham Potter, and also for the tremendous behaviour of Sunderland and Leeds, two promoted clubs. But even so, there is no way whatsoever they should be where they are, needing at least one win in their last two games to preserve their status, with even two potentially insufficient.
If they could get the big W tonight, though, they’d put serious pressure on Spurs, who travel to Chelsea on Tuesday and host Everton on the final day. And one victory in six, along with seven home defeats, tell us Newcastle are beatable, the physicality which underpins their best play less pronounced this season and the contribution of Alexander Isak not adequately replaced.
So, though trips to St James’ are never easy, given the way things have gone for Newcastle this term and the nothing for which they have to play, it’s actually one of the better options for a side desperately seeking a result. But Eddie Howe’s men won’t want the shame of another set of players cavorting on their pitch, just as their support won’t want the away contingent leaving with happy vibes, so it’s eyes down for a absolutely tussle that might just be the highest-level 13th v 18th we’ve ever seen; this is absolutely gargantuan.
Kick-off: 5.30pm BST
