Key events
79 min Muharemovic advances, so Wissa trips him and does well to avoid a card.
78 min Leeds send on Nmecha for Calvert-Lewin; Bahoya remains at the side, still awaiting his first football in a Leeds shirt.
76 min Willocks ofts a ball in behind and Trafford scurries out then, not for the first time tonight, makes a mess when asked to use his feet, the ball sliding off his right … but he’s saved by a generously flourished offside flag.
75 min Thinking beyond tonight, Newcastle will need Fernandez-Pardo to settle and start scoring, because they don’t have anyone else they can rely on to find the net regularly. He’ll be the wiser for tonight, and will have to apply his learnings immediately.
73 min Changes for Leeds, Gudmudsson, Tanaka and Okafor replaced by Bard, Aaronson and Wilson.
72 min Miley’s long clip to the back stick is headed back by Livramento, who hooks back, then Wissa hooks goalwards, then Willock, from an acute angle, hooks on to the roof of the net.
70 min And they win a free-kick down the left, Hall clipping in … and Elvedi heading out for a throw. Newcastle have offered so little attacking threat.
70 min Newcastle are enjoying a bit of possession now, which at least means they can prevent things becoming immediately worse.
68 min “Charles might be slightly mistaken,” offers Paul Milton. “There is a lively folk rock version of To Be a Pilgrim but by Maddy Prior rather than Jacqui McShee. And it is readily available on YouTube.”
66 min “Never seen my brother walk around with such arrogant swagger before 6am,” says Chris Paraskevas. “Wonder what’s in the bin for brunch? That half-eaten kebab is looking like a potential highlight of the day at this point.”
What kind of monster tosses half a kebab? As ye sow…
64 min Willock into the box, and he pokes square for Barnes, who spins away from Muharemovic … who kicks the back of his heel. Barnes thinks that’s a penalty and so do I, but the officials adjudge to the contrary. I guess they’re saying there wasn’t enough contact, but I’m pretty sure there was sufficient.
63 min Leeds win a corner down the left, but Stach’s poor delivery is kicked away at the near post.
60 min Where will this end? Newcastle are deep in the brown, and with half an hour and probably a bit more to go, this could get worse before the blessed relief of the full-time whistle.
WHAT A GOAL! Leeds United 4-0 Newcastle United (Okafor 59)
Ampadu hurls long and the clearing header lands on Okafor’s left foot, left side, just outside the box. Hw swings, makes perfect connection with a half-volley, and sends the ball zipping into the far corner, in off the post. Leeds are absolutely flying!
59 min Leeds are going for more goals and have a throw deep inside the Newcastle half, left-hand side and Ampadu preparing to fling in…
57 min Changes for Newcastle, Murphy, Fernandez-Pardo and Dedic departing, with Willock, Livramento and Toure replacing them.
55 min Deep inside his own half, Hall passes straight to Stach. This should be 4-0 and most of the crowd think it is, but the finish actually ruffles the near-post side-netting from the outside.
54 min Murphy attacks the outside of Gudmundsson but the defender draws level, confiscates possession, and eases upfield. Naturally, Murphy trips him as you would; he’s booked.
53 min Fernandez-Pardo tees up Hall who, from 25 yards, leathers a shot … but at saveable height, straight at Trafford, who fists to safety.
51 min Gudmundsson swings over a cross from the left, the indefatigable Bogle haring to vole it back into the box from the by-line. Unluckily for him, the ball was already out of play, but the devotion with which he pursued it encapsulates his role and his team.
48 min “Even though Daniel Farke isn’t a Bielsista,” says Kári Tulinius, “there’s a pleasing continuity of style from Bielsa’s Leeds to Farke’s. Since the Argentine’s days in charge, the typical sight when they play is watching the entire team hare up the field in transition, with the plan seemingly to create chaos. I feel like if someone drew me a diagram of a Leeds attack, without identifying the players, I could still recognise it.”
The change for three at the back might turn out to be a huge inflection point in Leeds’ history. Pretty much immediately, they were able to stick in games and had a proper attacking threat. It’s not a system for sides trying to win titles, but for those looking to punch above their weight, it works well because it gives width, midfield numbers and attacking threat.
46 min So what do Newcastle do here? Try and force their way back into the game, in the process risking a more serious tousing, or try and keep it social? Well, Leeds will have some thoughts in that regard too, Calvert-Lewin bursting through the middle only to be blocked off, just about. What a lesson he’s giving Fernandez-Pardo in what it takes to be a Premier League centre-forward.
46 min We go again…
Half-time email: “Widecome Fair – well, that was a pleasant distraction,” says Charles Antaki. “If anyone wants a bit more – though I see the game was hotting up a bit – they could perhaps tell me where I can find the folk version of To Be a Pilgrim sung by Jackie McShee, with full folk-rock backing band, in an ancient black-and-white studio recording? I once came across it on YouTube, but now I can’t find it for love or money. Now back to the football.”
Oh! More housekeeping: The second Leeds goal isn’t Calvert-Lewin’s because, though he gets inordinate height and hang, his header brushes Bogle’s hair en route to the net.
Housekeeping: the first Leeds goal has been awarded to Lewis Miley, I think on the grounds that the Steur deflection was taking Tanaka’s shot wide, only for his to divert it goalwards.
HALF-TIME: Leeds United 3-0 Newcastle United
It’s an absolute going-over, Leeds too fast, too physical and too aggressive for Newcastle. Matthias Jaissle has work to do just so his team avoid a more embarrassing undressing than the one they’re currently enduring.
GOAL! Leeds United 3-0 Newcastle United (Calvert-Lewin 45+1)
Box not clear following a long Leeds throw, Bogle pumps a hopeful high diag to the left, Muharemovic flicks on, and Calvert-lewin is on to it! He dips inside Botman, marching right through him, then shoots low and hard – too low and too hard for Hornicek to keep it out! What a half for Leeds; Newcastle have been stomped!
45 min We’ll have two additional minutes BUT EXCUSE ME WHILE I INTERRUPT MYSELF!
44 min Calvert-Lewin waits under a high ball, sees Botman coming, and extends an elbow without swinging; he’s booked, which is just about the right call.
42 min But here come Newcastle, Tanaka giving the ball away in midfield and Miley finding Wissa, this time at inside-left, and again, he carries well. Then, when he tries to dip between two defenders, he falls and beseeches for a penalty, while Barnes picks up the loose ball and swishes a shot across goal, that might be beating the diving Trafford … until Muharemovic flings his torso in the road, celebrating the block like he’s scored.
41 min The way we play and talk about football has changed a lot in recent years, but to continue along the 80s tip, Graeme Souness likes to say that the side which gets to the ball first wins, and that’s exactly what’s happening here. Leeds’ proactivity is the difference between the sides.
39 min Here come Leeds again, Okafor again pulling left and slipping a diagonal ball infield for Stach, who clips back for the onrushing Calvert-Lewin. But when he should apply the Peter Beardsley finish, dinked over the necessarily diving keeper, instead he goes low and hard, facilitating the save. That was almost game over; Newcastle are rocking.
37 min When I was growing up in the 80s, that was the kind of goal my memory tells me we saw much more than we do now. Almost every team played 4-4-2, so had wingers crossing for centre-forwards, and Calvert-Lewin is an old skool kind of striker. It’s so aesthetically pleasing – that or it hits a nostalgic sweet spot.
GOAL! Leeds United 2-0 Newcastle United (Bogle 35)
Now they’re talking! This is a throwback of goal – one Newcastle have tried to pass out, Botman giving it to Bogle, who sends the ball out wide to Justin. His cross is perfect, swinging out, and Calvert-Lewin jumps, applies brow to ball, heading powerfully down, the ball brushing Bogle’s hair on its way into the net, and that is two goals in less than three minutes!
GOAL! Leeds United 1-0 Newcastle United (Miley own goal 32)
Tanaka spreads left to Okafor, who returns it via square pass. Now on the edge, Tanaka takes longer than he has before shooting, but that time is what creates the goal, Steur and Miley both able to close him down, only for the ball to ricochet off one and against the other, looping past Hornicek for a goal that is fortunate but also rewards for Leeds’ aggression.
30 min The tempo is entertaining, but it’s about time we enjoyed some quality.
29 min Wissa counters, breaking into the Newcastle half and carrying well, but then he tries to feed Barnes in behind and barely finds the same longitude.
27 min A ball into the Newcastle box, still crowded following the corner, a flick-on, and Elvedi is there, unmarked on the right side of the box. In his mind, he lashes a glorious volley into the roof before hurling himself into the crowd to milk the adulation; in reality, he barely connects, dribbling a miserable effort wide of the near post, and everyone laughs.
25 min A long ball from Gudmundsson incites bogle to attack the middle of the box from the right, and he wins a corner. Then, when the corner comes in, Hornicek opts to punch when he might catch, picking out Bogle on the edge, who laces a shot that he’s forced to tip over. The second corner comes to nowt.
23 min I should note, Newcastle made a concussion substitution, so their allotted quota of five remains unaffected.
22 min Leeds have slowed down a bit and Newcastle are starting to jump to them.
21 min The name Sean Steur fits this song perfectly.
19 min Ach, it looks like Gonzalez will have to go off with concussion. That’s a right nause for him – godspeed, old mate – and he’s replaced by Sean Steur, the 18-year-old bought from Ajax.
18 min So far, we’ve seen almost nothing of Miley; he needs to find the ball, perhaps the skill that separates the best midfielders from the rest, and at any level.
17 min A ball launched down the right bounces kindly for Wissa, who lifts it into the middle; Justin does well to head clear, under pressure from Fernandez-Pardo.